awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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