So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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