You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
