I'm drive I can fine osifer
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
