she was so not down for the gang bang
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
