you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
