There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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