He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
