i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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