Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
