So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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