I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
