i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
