He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
