i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
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