.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
