Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
