Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
You're like the curious george of whores
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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