And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
