Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
