we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
and she was petting her beer can
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
