i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
