I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
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