your thong is hanging out like whoa
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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