My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
and she was petting her beer can
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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