talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
