I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
