one might say we're banned from that church
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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