i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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