The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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