She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
porn star boner night. come get it.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Randomize
