Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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