Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize
