i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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