I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
