Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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