i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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