I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
