Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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