You're so nebulous sometimes
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
