do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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