I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
