Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
