i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
