Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
