Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I wear drunk well.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
