I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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