R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
