sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize