I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
