what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
