pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
