Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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